30/11/2011
On the way:
"Last chance," they threaten, the two guerilla gymhadists, ambushing innocent passers-by outside the station. "Join Fitness First now. It's your LAST CHANCE."
Last chance? What? It's going to stop recruiting new adherents? Is that a threat or a promise?
And if I join, how many virgins will I get once I have ascended to the Cardio Theatre? And what if I take the platinum membership? How many virgins do I get then? And if I don't, what then? Will the god of squat thrusts and spinning throw me into the eternal flames of damnation? Feel the burn.
Ah, to hell with it. I think I'll take my chances with an infidel doughnut and hot chocolate. With extra whipped cream.
On the pod:
Left My Heart In Tokyo - Mini Viva
On the front page:
Prince hails Standard's 'inspirational leadership' as he becomes patron of our apprentice appeal (London Evening Standard - of course)
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